Be Different, Be Yourself.

Hey there, world. Been a while since I posted anything. I feel ready to break my silence, even though "sometimes silence makes a sound".
Silence may be golden, but I really felt like I needed to write down my thoughts, since, sometimes, it's the only way I can express myself.
My life has been a mess lately and there's only one thing that keeps me from breaking down; being happy about who I am. I bet that sounds weird, but it's not.
All these months, I didn't stop writing as much as I used to. But I felt like all the things that I was writing about were not something I want to share. I get a feeling when I know that I have to post something while I write it, but I haven't felt like this in months. Not until now that I just felt like I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
You see, some times, you have to get to lowest point to really understand what matters. To fully realize what keeps us standing. What keeps us from breaking down, from going crazy.
It's 4 am and I am standing here, writing, so technically I am a tiny bit crazy, but you know what I mean.

Two years ago, I was a totally different person. I couldn't realize that people could be different from me. I used to think that anyone that was different was crazy or abnormal. I used to see things in a totally different and sort of "tunnel vision" way. I didn't realize many things.
But people change and I hope mostly for the better. Because since I don't believe in any religion or any god, I think believing in people is vital for me.
I remember that I used to believe atheists and gay people should be crucified. I remember feeling hate so vigorously that I still laugh at my own self. I thought "being different" meant "being wrong" not "being yourself".
Now, two years later, I am an atheist and a huge supporter of Frank Ocean, an openly bisexual artist. I learnt that I can appreciate and support things without having to be what I support.
I support being different, being honest. I support things I am not. I support pursuing dreams. I support making something from nothing. I support being creative. And I don't need to label it as something as long as I feel it is honest. My point is : I don't need to like football to support someone doing everything in his power to become a football player.
But people don't get that. People can't think outside the box. People are not inspired by something "different". People would rather hate a gay artist without any real reason and miss out on the great art he is creating. But these people won't really live until they open their minds.
In the end we're all the same, no matter how different we are; we're all human, we all make mistakes, we all love and want to be loved, we all need things, we all believe in something. Why hate anyone that's different, when you really are more alike than different? Why disdain someone for being something you're not? It doesn't make sense to me. But then again, it once did.
All these months I realized that the only thing that helped me stand on my own two feet and continue was this; being myself, supporting people that are different and not letting hate poison me. If there's one thing I am happy about is the way I am and the way I see things. I see everything crystal-clear. I see the world as it is.
To me, if someone kills a man, it's not wrong because he is black or Asian; it's wrong because it's an act of hate.
I realized that this motivated me. I motivated myself. Frank Ocean motivated me by risking his career just to be honest and different, not caring what others might think. In the homophobic world of Hip Hop and RnB, that was a first. But it was an act of freedom that inspires me to this day and will inspire me for the rest of my life.
Thanks to some people that are pushing the boundaries every day, others live more easily. More free. More different.

I think "being free" or "different" is mostly a thing that can be expressed through art. Artists are the most free human beings. I hope I can be a great artists one day. A great writer. But the only thing that will get me there is being honest, being free, being me. Because the people I admire the most, fought against all odds to get where they're at. I hope to be like that one day; to make my dreams come true by being who I am, even if it means going against all odds. I hope to be an inspiration to people as some people are to me. 

Now, I can finally understand that, sometimes, the world is not "wrong". Our perspective is wrong. The way we look at things. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this and I hope you understood my points.

 Thank you for reading. But mostly, thank you for being yourself.

Poem : Jamais Vu (In My Dreams)

The flames are here, but where did the fire go?

It's winter, but why isn't there snow?

The world is crowded but I'm still feeling alone.

We're all different, but I still feel like a clone.

The people are empty, where did our souls go?

Is anyone happy or do we all put on a show?

How did we become so vacant, without a soul?

How did this happen? How did we lose control?

I look around, everyone's empty and sad,

looking out only for themselves, always selfish and mad.

I talk to you, but you can't seem to hear me.

Don't you want to hear me? Do you fear me?

I reach out to touch you, you're colder than ice.

Every time I think of this, a part of me dies.

I dream of a day when the whole world will change,

when we'll gain control, when we take over lifes' reins.

I dream of unconditional love, a world full of sisters and brothers,

a world where we'll treat ourselves as we want to be treated by others.

A place where we won't need to hide anymore

A place where it's not a mistake to let you see through my soul.

People won't be blind no more, they'll see the truth.

In a place full of love, a world that's bulletproof,

a world where hate doesn't exist, where we respect each other more than ourselves

where we'll be free, we'll get out of our cells. 

A place where money doesn't matter, because love is not for sale.

A world full of realness, a world where there's no shame.

A world full of difference.

A world full of change.

Maybe I am a dreamer, maybe I don't know what I'm saying,

maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm insane.

Maybe I despise hate and fear because I am out of my mind 

or maybe I am really dying inside.

I hope that this world will become a better place.

I dream of the day everyone awakes.

Maybe you disagree, but you'll never bring me down.

I'm so happy in my dreams, I feel like I'm dancing on a cloud.

You're in my dreams now, where every day is sunny.

You're in my dreams now, where everyone is happy.

Maybe I'm a dreamer, 

but you're in my dreams now.

Welcome.

(I linked some lines to a song that inspired me to write this.)

Poem : Rise

How many times do we think that it's all over, 

how many times do we say that we'll quit?

How many times do we feel like an impotent rover?

How many times do we think that we can't make it?

But still, through all the hard times that we face

through all the hurt, pain and disappointments in our lives,

we rise, stronger than ever, feeling like the winners of this race,
even if we feel like we're trying to balance steak knives.

How many times do we feel that we live in vain,
how many times do we feel lost?
How many times do we say that we're the only one's to blame?
How many times do we feel like we should pay the cost?

But still, we rise like a phoenix from the ashes,
we rise, walking tall against the rain.
Against all odds, we find light in the darkness.
We rise once more, 'cause it's our time to reign.



(The line "balance steak knives" was inspired by a song, so I thought I should put a link there)

Keep Hope Alive

This is something I wrote as a part of a blogging team a while ago and I decided to post it here, too.
Here you can read my post on how to keep hope alive. Special thanks to all of you who read my posts! My last poem got hyped a lot more than I expected!

Poem : The Castle In The Mist...

Here you can buy and read the description of one of my favorite books "ICO : Castle in the Mist" which is the theme of this poem I'm writing. I hope you like it, cause I've put my best into making it a really good poem. The story of this book is based on a videogame. It sounds weird, I know.
The theme song is also a masterpiece and one of my favorite songs.
Here it is :

Above : The boy and the girl of the story, Ico and Yorda, holding hands. In the story, when Ico doesn't hold her hand or if he is not near her, the souls of the sacrifices try to take her back to the cage through dark wholes that appear on the floor. The painting above was inspired by "The Nostalgia of the Infinite" by the painter Giorgio de Chirico and it was painted by the director of the videogame, Fumito Ueda. The painting depicts a part at the ending of the story, where Ico and Yorda try to escape the castle.

I first played the videogame when it came out, in 2001-2002. To this day, it's still one of my favorites.

There's nothing like this place, this castle in the mist

a scary place, a place of pain, but no one can resist.

It's a ripple in the ocean, yet, it is the whole world

an empty place,  it can't be explained by no word.

Nothing can define this empty castle sitting on this hill, next to the sea, but so far from this world, from this galaxy

abandoned, vacant, empty, lifeless, blank , like a little cavity.

Oh, Castle, are you real, or are you a mirage?

Am I your slave, your friend, or am I in charge?

I do not know, but I do know that within you, there lies death.

Are you my rebirth or are am I to leave here my last breath?

I am a sacrifice, born for you

but I can't find a way to get through to you.

The sarcophagus broke in half, like it was made of dust

it's late now, it's the time of dusk..

No one knows where you are, oh, Castle, you're forbidden,

only the priests and kings know your location, the place where you're hidden.

A priest and two soldiers brought me to you, but they closed my eyes

not wanting me to see the way, not wanting for me to see through your disguise.

They all fear you, so they give you sacrifices, us, the horned children,

we're born once even one or two hundred years and we're considered villains,

'cause once, a horned knight tried to destroy your kingdom, your mighty Queen,

and since then, sacrifices are all you've ever seen.

But I am different, because I was born to bring you down,

that's why I fear you castle, I am the first to be capable of bringing you down,

but I'm only a child, not a wise warrior, so I'm afraid

'cause I'm abandoned, like a little cade...

I was supposed to die and give my soul to you, but I'm free, running through your hallways. 

I was supposed to be here, with you, always,

to be a part of you, like the crumpled souls of the other sacrifices that live within your walls

but I am different, I'm born to bring an end to your existence, I'm stronger than those souls.

Once I began roaming through your corridors, I found a huge cage

and in it, I found the whole world... I found a girl, at first, it seemed strange

but there she was, her beauty overshadowing me, her pure soul lighted the room. 

She was afraid, too, she must've been here for a long time, you're her mighty doom.

I freed her and when she touched me, my heart was filled with light, 

a light so pure, it blurred my sight. 

Oh, mighty Queen of the Castle, she's you little daughter,

yet, like a prisoner you hold her.

That's because, you have no body of your own, oh Queen, you're the Queen of darkness 

and you want to kill the light of the world, dear Queen, that's why you bring her sadness.

You both have lived for thousands of years, but haven't aged a day,

'cause you're only a spirit and she's your vessel, you're the hunter, she's the prey.

She once wanted to destroy your deathly plans, alongside the horned knight

but you brought an end to it, guarding her from the light.

You made her you prisoner, forever to be here, 

to serve your purposes. She's just a child, but she's your heir.

She wishes she could be gone, 

but she doesn't even know, if she'll see another dawn.

But thousands of dawns have passed, but she did not notice, 

'cause you've forsaken her, you broke another promise.

She forgot how to speak, she can't communicate, but she gives me visions,

memories of this place. I see its' glory and that it's vicious,

but tell me, Queen, why, oh why, did you want the God of Darkness to rule,

why do you deprive the world of the Light and treat it like a tool?

Me and her, your little daughter, we're born to destroy you, don't you know?

It has been your destiny, and it's happening, right now.

Can't you feel it, creeping upon you like the morning sun?

I forgot that light can't touch you, you can't feel it, none.

Every time that I touch her hand, I see another memory

another story of her life, which you've coated with emery.

I feel something that you can't, that's why I'll defeat you, it's love

but you're as gloomy and caliginous as the mist that twirls and swirls above.

The Castle is dusty, old and destroyed, 

yet that is only a disguise, to make it seem void.

We face each other, Queen, and you try to kill me,

but your daughter and all those spirits, help me 

to avoid your deadly curse. I want to leave the Castle and take your daughter away

to make us disappear, like a needle in the hay.

It's hard but we can make it, I fight with all my will

we're trying to escape, get away from this hill.

The Light fights the Dark and soon the end will come,

to either your whole army, or maybe of them, some

but surely, we'll escape, I have no doubt of that.

Many people that tried to do it, you've turned them to stone, I can't forget that,

but the knight comes to my sight, his ghost gives me his sword

"and with it, you'll defeat her" is all I'm told.

As we fight, I pass out and wake up in the sea

and your daughter is all that I can see,

she holds my hand, but I don't know if we defeated you

as soon as she could speak, she told me " I believe in YOU". 

But my strength gives up on me, I pass out once more

I wake on a beach, left without her, the one that I adore.

I don't know where I am or what to do, so I try to return, back to my home

I travel fast, through forests and next to seas, under a sky painted orange, looking like a dome. 

Days begin and end and soon I found my way back,

back to my village, while the sky's black.

I tell them all about our story and how we defeated her,

but I can't forget about you, oh, how I wish you were here..

I'll come back for you, now that the Dark is lost

I hope that when I come, I'll find you by that coast.

I still feel you, you mean so much to me

your beauty is something that's way beyond me.

I am on my way to find you, just to see

if you're there or if I lost you at the sea.
I hope you're well, now that your doomed days are over

but what if I don't find you, will all of it be over?

I dream of you, but we're apart, 

but soon, I'll find you and I'll give you all my heart.
The journey's long, but I can't wait to live with you by my side,

it's sad, the way I'm so messed up inside.

I'll come, my love, I'll find you,

and then, I wish to live my life beside you.
Sweet Yorda, where are you? Are you somewhere safe?

I hope you'll be there, so I see your face again.. One day.. 

There must be a few mistakes in this poem. Either way, no one's perfect, right?

Truth.

Truth... People have been searching for the truth since the very first human being set foot on earth. The eternal "goose-chase". The truth about how were we created, is there a superior being or not, what is our purpose and the truth about a thousand more things.
Not all of those who search for the truth really care about it. Or really search for it. Because, as stated above, the search for truth is an eternal "goose-chase". Now, I am not talking about any subject in specific. It could be anything.
Truth is not something that's easy to acquire. Or easy to live with. Not everyone has the interest, the power, the need, the "guts" or whatever else is needed for any form of truth to be unveiled. There are minor truths, everyday-life truths. Personal truths. And there are the major ones. For example, the truth about our existence.
I am just writing this to "poke" the people that will read this, to make them think about it. So I won't go too deep in this post. If anyone is interested, they will think, they will do research and they will discover their own truth(s) about truth. I do not claim to know more than the people who read this. But I can claim that I think. And I want to get some things that I think about "out of my chest". In fact, in this post, I don't want to claim anything but one thing ; that I want people to think about it and discover things on their own.

What is truth? Truth is something many people find but they keep it for themselves. Either to protect others or to feel superior. The really true thing about truth is that people hide, destroy, twist and distort. A lie can be transformed  into a truth. People even want to mess with other peoples' conceptions about truth itself, for many reasons, which can't always be determined. Sometimes, people do it to themselves. They distort their own truths. Maybe to feel better, maybe to get rid of some truth that they wished was a lie. So they disguise truth as a lie, sometimes.
But someone that is really searching for truth, is willing to sacrifice everything. The ability to think and to judge, plus curiosity, is the curse but also the blessing of humans. It makes us want to search for more. To question. So, we send ourselves to a journey that is not for every person. It's a harsh journey and the truth's even more harsher. Some people lose their sanity because of this. Because we always question everything. Well, not all of us, but some do. And that leads us to this eternal journey. Some don't make it out of it. Some question themselves even more. I guess that's how it will always be.

One thing is for sure; the search for truth, for pure truth, is hard. Anyone searching for it will tell you not to begin searching for the major truths, if you're not willing to pay the price, or even cope with the truth, if you ever find it. I want to search for many major truths. It's a hard thing to do, but what good thing isn't hard to acquire?

I hope this little article triggered the mechanism of your inside thinker. I hope you get my point, whether you've thought about what was said above or not. If not, I hope you will.

Poem : I Walk Alone

I was inspired to write this, because this is what I was doing some minutes before; I was walking alone, in the middle of the night. I do it a lot, but this time, while I was walking, words started to get into my head and they formed this. I don't think it's such a great piece of writing, but it's something that I knew I had to write.

I walk alone.... as the night falls, as the darkness takes over
I walk alone, in the night, feeling like I don't walk; like I hover
over the road, over the world. I walk alone, but I am not by myself on this journey
because even when I walk alone, there is always someone there, someone yearning
for me, someone I love, someone I trust. People that time can't erase from my mind, 
people that fight on the same side as me, people good, people kind.
Memories are there, too, to keep every part of me alive, to keep me going. 
Good or bad, it doesn't matter, because they both are a part of this being.


I walk alone and the road in front of me is long; but that only makes me stronger,
knowing that many walk, but few until the end of it, few want it to be longer.
Because they don't know; the longer the path, the bigger the reward.
I fight and conquer, but I don't need a sword. 
'Cause even if I am alone, I have the biggest weapon within me
all the people I love, all the people I care about, they are the light that shines within me.


I walk alone, even though others are walking around me; they only wander.
But not me, I don't wander, because my journey, isn't the kind that people can ponder.
I have a long road ahead of me, but it makes me happy, never sad
that I have a goal to reach, so I can't just stand.


If you ask these people that are  walking close to me, they only see few lights in the night
cause they don't see what I can; they are blind, they don't see the real light.
The light of inspiration within me, the one that even in the night, shines brighter than the sun.
I'm inspired; therefore I inspire. But not all of us can walk this road, few really can. 
This secret "power" is not a gift all of us possess, so not all can see through the eyes of their soul.
Knowing this, I try to shed some light in others' worlds, even through the tinniest hole.

So I walk alone, but I don't feel alone. 'Cause I was inspired to inspire.
And I was inspired to give, to help, to light a fire. 
A fire that can heal the whole world, if all of us were to carry this heavy load until the end,
if all of us wished to be the burden bearers, to carry away the evil and bring it to an end.


So I want to let everyone know... you're not alone.

This is dedicated to everyone that walks beside me, even when I am alone.